Turn It Off

Your happy songs make me feel sad
a teasing smell of what i do not have

your cheery bile makes me choke and drown
what lifts you up only brings me down

you're all content just to fantasise
vicariously living better lives

if only i could just let it all go
be just like you and enjoy the show
give myself up to idealised gleam
and live with you in your happy dreams

but i'm too awake to just submit
but not enough to deal with it

stuck in the middle where nothing feels right
the eerie dusk between the day and night

i hope we'll all be brave enough one day
to be present and not run away

if only you could just let it all go
we'll go together and rejoin the flow
and without fear dive into the stream
and live as one in our collective dream

perhaps it's me with the problem here
something in it which i cannot hear

is it a way my mind just cannot bend
or in my arrogance can't comprehend?

Sometimes I want to
see things as you do
i'm tired of feeling sick
a modern heretic
should i cut out my eyes
and swallow all of the easy lies
if i reflect so bitterly
what use is this reality?

I choose now to let it all go
and know I can't escape the flow
peacefully sink into the stream
and know that I am but a dream

Skwirtlyexterbays (Song)

what's it gonna take to get through to me?
this helmet's too heavy and i cannot see
stark dissonance between left and right
a fight between the crude and the erudite

the world is out of focus
perhaps i've seen enough
step aside to let it by
this cacophony of quantum stuff

what do you get up for each and every day?
when nothing really matters in a cosmic way?
is the this the fate of those who philosophise?
or just an urgent call to lobotomise?

nothing is true so lets live a happy lie
so we feel no regret on the day that we all die
this pervasive fundamental absurdity
thrills and scares, smothers and liberates me

we're quite adept at self-deceipt
blurry-eyed and half-asleep
missing what we never knew
and clinging to the dream of truth

reach for the random
grasp the smoke in your hand
and with fleeting time forge the sublime
you little grain of sand

wake me up
convince me it's ok
to take the day and joyously
embrace blessed insanity

06/11/10 3.00am From one insomniac to another.

Kirsty is, it seems to me, a girl of many facets.
She's sweet and smart and yet sadly denies her many assets.

I'm very proud of how she copes with such tremendous pressure.
From chronic sickness to a mind neurotic beyond measure.

Yet I believe that over time she'll come to comprehend.
Her value as a person and indeed, yes, as a friend.

Life's been tough for her and for a while it may still be.
But peace and joy reside in her and we'll find them, you'll see.

Recipe for Tainted Fungus

a sense of forboding
i feel my tension build
it is sinister and yet
I beg it to approach

supernovas as pinpricks
expand to fill my being
the mind seems cavernous
overflowed by a drop

whipping scythes
arc across and around
then swell to bubbles
that dance in the chaos

stretched and strained
into an agonising stutter
choked and squeezed
an eruption contained

the gate bursts open
the cascade rushes forth
engulfed, I am swept along
overwhelmed by triumph

Limmericks Don't Count

There once was a young man named Joe
Who thought he'd give poems a go
After one limmerick
He was fatally sick
His potential we will never know

Snow

Jagged shards of biting cold
Warm our hearts and soothe the soul
Childhood joys from times of old
Are ever preserved in the soft white folds

Birthdays

The single day of all the year that I feel the most mirth
Is the day on which my friends remind me of my worth
The day on which I truly feel my place upon the Earth
Is the day that I came to be, the day of my own birth