Turn It Off

Your happy songs make me feel sad
a teasing smell of what i do not have

your cheery bile makes me choke and drown
what lifts you up only brings me down

you're all content just to fantasise
vicariously living better lives

if only i could just let it all go
be just like you and enjoy the show
give myself up to idealised gleam
and live with you in your happy dreams

but i'm too awake to just submit
but not enough to deal with it

stuck in the middle where nothing feels right
the eerie dusk between the day and night

i hope we'll all be brave enough one day
to be present and not run away

if only you could just let it all go
we'll go together and rejoin the flow
and without fear dive into the stream
and live as one in our collective dream

perhaps it's me with the problem here
something in it which i cannot hear

is it a way my mind just cannot bend
or in my arrogance can't comprehend?

Sometimes I want to
see things as you do
i'm tired of feeling sick
a modern heretic
should i cut out my eyes
and swallow all of the easy lies
if i reflect so bitterly
what use is this reality?

I choose now to let it all go
and know I can't escape the flow
peacefully sink into the stream
and know that I am but a dream